Howitzer

A few minutes ago I was reading an article about how our hands contain entire microbial ecosystems that may be used to identify ourselves in a crime scene. As in, forensic investigators may some day be able to look at the microbes left on a knife, and match it with the known microbial ecosystem on our hands. It's sort of like fingerprinting.

I mused about the millions of residents living on my fingers, before realizing that I needed to wash my hands for work. So I promptly squeezed out some hand sanitizer foam, massacring millions of germs who had called my fingers "home".

I'm a mass murderer.