Suspending Blog Temporarily

Wednesday, December 9, 2009 at 1:35 PM
I'll notify when I return to writing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 5:15 PM
Take a moment to reflect on something in your life that you are thankful for.

Chinese Mines

Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 4:51 PM
There was another major mine accident in China, where around 100 miners were trapped underground. A sad story; China is said to have the world's most dangerous mines, in terms of lives lost. I want to comment on something else in this article however. It was said in the article, that the mine in question, in XinXing, was actually considered a very safe mine. In fact, they did have people monitoring gas levels in the mine that exploded, meaning that there were safety measures in place. That being said, the director, deputy director, and chief engineer were already fired, barely a day after the accident. That means, there was no time for an investigation into the accident.

I find this to be what I see as a typical Chinese knee jerk reaction to a situation. These people were fired to save face, so that whoever was in charge of the firing could look like he was doing something to remedy the situation. Unfortunately, it does not appear that the Chinese people are logical enough to see the fallacy of the situation. Or perhaps they are. In either case, firings such as these are effective enough to save face that they continue to be used. I wonder if anyone will point of the fault of firing the chief engineer without a thorough investigation in determining the cause of the mine accident. There are such things as natural disasters.

Reference:

We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel

Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 6:40 AM
"We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it"

Ho Hum

Friday, November 20, 2009 at 3:21 PM
In the Doldrums...

Flight 93

Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 4:49 PM
I want to say something about Flight 93. For those who don't know, Flight 93 carried 40 passengers and crew, in addition to 4 hijackers on September 11, 2001. Flight 93 crashed in Pennsylvania before it could reach its destination, presumably a high value target such as the White House or the US Capitol Building. The actions of the crew and passengers onboard prevented such an act against our nation from happening.

I applaud the actions of these 40 people, and hope that they serve as a model for all Americans to follow. Through the actions of a few individuals, a national landmark somewhere was saved. They took the initiative to do something, to defend their country. This is something that every citizen should possess. In the future, history will tell the tale of 40 brave Americans who sacrificed their lives to save an unknown, important American landmark. I hope that if I am ever presented with such a situation, I will be able to conduct myself in such an admirable way.

- In memory of Flight 93.





Reference:

Electromagnetics Quiz 2

Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 9:38 AM
It's go time.

...

LET'S DO IT AGAIN.

Quantum Quiz 2 Results: Promising!

at 6:02 AM
I got a 68 on my quantum physics class quiz 2! The average was 77, so overall, I'm below average. However, this is a big improvement over my last unmentionable score. I see potential here.

Done with Quantum Quiz 2

Friday, November 13, 2009 at 10:20 PM
So I finally got past this week, where I spent almost all my time studying. I think I listened to music all day today, first to get myself in the right mood for my test, and then to celebrate finishing my test. Now I'm in NYC, to enjoy the weekend before studying hard for another quiz on Tuesday. gogogogeorge. Tomorrow will be a fun day in NYC, capped by delicious korean bbq, and karaoke (ugh).

I'll leave you with two interesting quotes that a professor said today in class:

1. "blah blah blah grain boundary grooving....huh Grain boundaries that are groovy! I like that haha." Apparently grain boundary + groovy was funny for him.

2. "now, this wire, or nano wire if you want to be sexy, exhibits......." The man called a nano wire sexy.

Just Do It

Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 10:59 AM
Just Do It, George.

....

LET'S DO IT.

Veterans' Day

Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 5:44 PM
How remiss of me. I almost forgot to make a tribute to the men and women who volunteer their time and health to defend the country. Talking about the sacrifices that the military makes for us citizens is something that seems almost cliche and automatic now. You hear it all the time from politicians, from average people everywhere.

Well, let me say, everything that is praised about the military is true. The nation is defended by people who volunteer their lives. Think of it this way: would you serve to defend the country? Most likely you'll say yes, but maybe, inside you'll think no. I certainly won't divulge my thoughts on the matter. I only know that I'm sitting here in my room, stressing out about school when service members are stressing out about IED's or shit. Therefore, I will be grateful for the protection that others have graciously given.

One last thing: never fault the military. Always remember that it is us, the civilians, who order the military to do things that we can't do ourselves.

God bless to the men and women in uniforms who guard us as we sleep.

Hell

at 2:41 PM
When I first got here, I saw graffiti labeling MIT as a very unpleasant place. An example would be on Harvard bridge, with the words "This way to Hell" pointed towards MIT. It seemed pretty funny at that time, but it's no longer so.

I have to say, MIT is a very, very challenging place. Prepare to give it your all if you are here. I'm definitely starting to do that. Furthermore, it's very emotionally taxing, as MIT forces you to look at your inadequacies, and tests you on how well you can work through them. Let this be a warning to all future prospective students.

It does seem like Hell at times, yet I know I'm being pushed, something that doesn't happen very often. This is unequivocally, a good thing. We'll see in a few weeks whether I'm staying here or not. Until then, wish me luck everyone!

Guy Shaving in Bathroom

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 3:58 PM
I just came back from using the bathroom by my office. I happened to see a guy standing at the sink as I walk in, nothing really noticeable. However, as I finish my business and go wash my hands, I see fucking short hairs at the sink. Like all over, in the bowl, on the faucet and handles. Wtf! People shave at work?? Not to mention, it's 7pm, so it's not like someone was shaving after working all night at the office. The guy didn't even have the decency to clean up his mess.

Some people...

Giving Space in Relationships

at 12:21 PM
I guess I'm going on a relationship meme, after spending so long on MIT related issues. Today's topic will be about giving space in a relationship. This is a tricky matter, one that I'm sure almost every couple must deal with at some point. Feeling caged up by your significant other is inevitable; it's very rare for a couple to desire one another in exactly the same way, at exactly the same times. Then, how does one deal with such problems?

Let's examine some more fundamental issues here. When two people pair up who have different levels and types of needs, it is inevitable that one or both of them will end up going out of their comfort zones to satisfy the other. Perhaps they meet halfway, or perhaps one is more willing than the other to compromise.

To navigate this, it's important for both members of a couple to understand both sides. It's important to understand that while spending time with your significant other is a joyful activity, there are other things in life that are worth pursuing too. It is a common trap for many people, especially young adults, to fall into the trap of thinking that your significant other is the sole purpose in your life. (Largest purpose vs. only purpose)

In contrast, it's equally important for the other party to sympathize with the needy person. You must understand that some things are done unselfishly, in a relationship. For a relationship to be successful, there must be much sacrifice from both sides. Thus, you must remember to satisfy your needy significant other. The essential matter to remember is, this needy person is important to you. While you may not wish to spend so much time with them, you do want to see them happy.

Each couple needs to decide what extent each of the views are carried out from the previous two paragraphs are taken.

Bah, this was not one of my better posts. I wish I could've presented things more clearly. Perhaps I'll work on that later.

Feeling Down

Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 4:59 PM
I'm in a very emotionally depressed period of my life right now. My interests at school have become near-absent, and my out of school life here has been non-existant. My personal life elsewhere is also..eh..a struggle. I would like at least one portion of my life to be care-free.

I wonder, if any other first-year grad students go through moments like these? They must. I talked with a best friend recently, and he said his first few years in undergrad were similar. No real friends, no interest in school. He felt like there was nothing worth living for in Ann Arbor, at least in the moment. Things changed for him, when he met a friend. This was a special friend, someone who connected with him on a deep down level. At last, there was something outside of school to enjoy, someone to experience life with. He called meeting his first friend at school, a "godsend".

Everyone is afraid of being lonely, even the so-called "loners". How do I know this? Have you ever seen a "loner" who was cheerful? Maybe content at best. But cheerful, happy, joyful? Yeah, didn't think so. No one wants to go through life alone.

The most precious thing in life is a friend that life can be shared with. I suppose that's why so many people had imaginary friends when they were young. Someone to always be with you, to feel good for you, to comfort you, to protect you. As adults, our minds are more perceptive of reality, and so we turn to finding some person who can fill this role.

Most of succeed, though some of us fail. If you're one of the lucky ones, take a moment to reflect on how fortunate you've been. It's easy to forget what you have when it's with you all the time. I know I've been guilty of this in the past. Consider the less fortunate ones. I'll always remember the story of a 40 year old divorced motivational speaker who cheated on his wife. He now remembers everyday what it was like to come home to his wife and kids, and how he lives by himself in an apartment now, giving motivational speeches against cheating.

This post is dedicated to my special partner. You know who you are.

-Howitzer

Tourists@MIT

Friday, October 30, 2009 at 3:12 PM
It seems like everyday that I see a group of asian tourists at MIT. This place is really popular.

Stiff

Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 8:05 AM
Feeling extremely stiff today. I had a tough work out last night, where I was actually sweating. I usually don't sweat very much when lifting. Anyways, I had a ton to eat last night and I'm starving now, so hopefully that's a sign that my body is burning up that fuel for building muscles. I may have to skip out on Thursday basketball because of this.

Quantum Homework Revisited

Tuesday, October 27, 2009 at 9:06 PM
Ok crap, this homework IS really long. Luckily, my EM homework went pretty fast. I just had to show you what this quantum homework looked like though. Here's part of the answer for part a) of problem 1: Unfortunately, until I figure out how to load bigger pictures to blogger, you'll have to click on the image to view it properly.

Week 6 Homework

Monday, October 26, 2009 at 7:57 PM
The gods must be smiling on me, oh thank the gods. Both of my classes have homework sets with only 4 questions. Now you might say, well those problems are probably harder. I say, I don't care, 4 questions is still less than 6, and it makes me feel much better.

A Heavy Heart

at 1:02 PM
Apologies for anyone who doesn't know me personally. This is another rant-type post.

I'm having a lot of difficulty concentrating today. I think I'm feeling better though, but it's hard to tell when emotions inevitably flucutate. I have two homeworks due Wednesday, so I have a feeling I will be up late again on tomorrow night.

The good thing about all this stress is that it motivates me to exercise a lot more. I suppose it's a physical release from my mental pressure. I can report that lifting is producing a lot of results for me. Also, my basketball skills have been steadily increasing. Last week, I made many shots, although I feel like this week I will have a regression in my shot making. Oh well, I suppose that progress is never steady.


I'll try to come up with something to say here for everyone. I guess if it's one thing I learned, it's that hard times will always come. Life is never smooth sailing; the rough seas inevitably show up. Like a cycle, we are always forced to navigate through treacherous waters. I suppose, the knowledge that hard times will always appear helps us focus on dealing with our problems, rather than trying to get rid of them. Once the tough times are dealt with, you have to enjoy the easy times while they last. And of course, always keep in mind that easy times always follow the tough times.

-Howitzer

Free Food

Sunday, October 25, 2009 at 5:33 PM
Graduate students and free food. If you've ever read the comic PhDComics, written by some people at Stanford, you'll understand the relationship. I guess I'm not as big on free food, but I definitely have a friend who is the epitomy of Mike with free food. I think as much as half of his diet is based on free food. What a guy. Imagine when I introduced him to MMS back at Michigan: free lunch every Friday.

Anyways, today I went to a free brunch at Sydney-Pacific dorm. Approximately every other week, some organization will host a free brunch for graduate students, for the sake of socializing I think. Today's brunch was sponsored by some prize giving organization at MIT, so I guess there were ulterior motives for offering free food today. The food however, was pretty fantastic, with a line of people out into the hall way waiting. I got my weekly fruit servings here, with kiwis, apricots, mangos, watermelons, papayas, and more. Of course, there were also the standard breakfast foods such as pancakes, sausages, eggs, etc.

Just to add to today's theme of free food, I'll mention some other places with free food. There is Two-Dollar Tuesdays, sponsored by the GSC (Graduate Student Council), where $2 basically buys you all you can eat catered food. I have yet to make this one, and thus am not considered a "real" graduate student. Also, seminars tend to have amazingly delicious deserts. OMG describes it pretty accurately for people of my age (early 2o's).

Moral of today? Free food is definitely good at times. You don't want to overdo the free pizza, but other times, free food can serve as a vital supplement to your healthy diet. It's free, and it's an excuse to socialize and meet other graduate students. In my experience, free food tends to be a sign that whatever event is offering it is worth going to, even without the free food.

PSet6 Quantum

at 4:29 PM
Thank god I just saw that PSet6 has only four problems. I might make it through this homework after all. I swear, this class is full of crazies talking crazy talk. Strangely, they're all on the same page. I guess that makes me the crazy one.

For today's girl, Charlize Theron:

I first saw her on some trashy sci-fi movie, AeonFlux, and I thought to myself, who the heck is this woman. Little did I know...with blonde hair, becomes bombshell.
I'm going to occasionally post up pictures from my screensaver folder. You can click the images to get a high resolution version.

Grace

Saturday, October 24, 2009 at 10:18 AM
Things are at their lowest point between us right now. Neither of us is really sure what is going on anymore, but we are just sad all the time when we talk to each other. I'm having a hard time dealing with her being in Spain, having tons of fun, while I'm working here at school. At this point, I just want her to be happy. I'm so tired of hearing my baby crying, I don't even care about why I was mad at her in the first place. The only, ONLY thing I want now is just for her and I to make it through this year together. I can't express how much it is that I want things to just be "ok" between the two of us. We're both so willing to make this work, yet it just seems to get harder and harder. I think we really need to just STOP. Just STOP, and remember the things that are important: we still care about each other. I need to figure out myself and just...chill out.

A long distance relationship is not for the faint of heart. Grace, if you read this...let's just get our heads straight for now.

I think I will just do my best to chill out.

EDIT: That was a big of a rant wasn't it? It was a pretty pansy post for me, yet I know we all feel this way at some point. Ah, to be human.

What am I thinking...

Friday, October 23, 2009 at 1:58 PM
Scarlett Johansson wtf? Penn State football game coming up this weekend! Fuck that, GO BLUE!

Here's a few tidbits for any Wolverines that remember.

2006 - Alan Branch ripping Anthony Morelli a new one. Ouch. Looks like Morelli forgot to dig the grave here. And look at Alan Branch strolling happily away, very satisfied with his work.

Not sure who/when this was, but it's Daryll Clark getting sacked/fumbled.

Why is it so hard to find the 1 second touchdown by Mario Manningham? This will have to suffice.

Scarlett Johansson

at 12:27 PM
Per Dan's suggestion, I will be posting something other than MIT-related stuff. For today, I'll put up pictures of Scarlett Johansson. Why? I think the reason is implicit.

Exams Back!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009 at 8:54 PM
So the title of this post should actually be a lot more downbeat. I actually did terrible on my exams, and am in the lowest quartile in both of my classes. Sigh. I'll need to put more work into my classes. I'm also not doing that much research at the moment either. This all adds up to be BAD.

So, I felt pretty bad about how I was doing academically, especially since that was most of what I was working on so far. I had flashes of failing MIT after one semester, and being shunned by graduate schools elsewhere. Luckily, I was surfing sites in my depression, and read on someone's blog about failing tests. Everyone fails at some point; it doesn't mean they're a failure though. The important thing is to evaluate why you failed, and to correct that. And that's the mantra that I'm taking. I'm working harder at school now, and cutting down on the time that I waste on the web (blogging doesn't count; it's a chance to reflect). I will also try to keep my activities, like basketball, working out, and Michigan Football Saturdays alive, to force myself to streamline my life. More work output, constant leisure, less waste.

If at the end of the semester, I do indeed fail out of MIT, I at the least want to say that I gave it my all. If I do that, I know that no matter what happens, I'll still be ok with myself.

Exams done!

Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 3:46 PM
I done with my first round of exams at MIT. They took up a lot of my time and focus, but overall, I don't feel like they were too much harder than any other exam I've taken. I have to say, the EM exam today was super easy. Not to brag, but I think I got something right that two other guys got wrong. Ok, I am gloating a little. Also, people complained about the exam from quantum physics, so we are getting a take-home re-do of the test, to be turned in tomorrow. I'll have to get on that tonight, though I feel pretty good about my work last week.

Life outside of MIT

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 10:42 PM
I'm trying to build one, but efforts have so far revolved around UM football. I find myself increasingly searching for cheap thrills in the form of internet webpages and video games. I think this is rather the wrong path to go down, as it is really just a distraction from the things that would really make me satisfied. If I don't change, I may soon be unfulfilled with both school and non-school parts of my life.

The first thing I need to do is to make some better friends, real people to talk to. Right now, I've met a lot of people, but haven't really formed any connections with. That half of my group speaks chinese does not help me(though it does allow me to practice my chinese). The friend making process may take awhile, especially in this environment. After all, I did just arrive recently; good friendships are hard to find and take time to build.

The good thing is that I've identified parts of my behavior that arise because of deeper causes. I'll try to reduce the amount of time wasting that I do on the internet, in order to direct more of my efforts to doing other things. Hopefully this will change a few things for me, and make life better here. Let me brainstorm some things that can occupy my time: food, working out, sports with labmates, tennis, labmates living in Tang Hall. It seems like I still need to find something more significant. Happy Hour with lab mates a start? MIT does have its own pub. I shall think on this some more.

Two people to target: Sejoon-roommate and labmate-girl ZT. Sejoon plays tennis, which I had a lot of fun trying out the other day. The labmate-girl is also lonely and missing friends. Misery loves company no? Also, I don't feel like I get along with J. that well yet. He's a cool guy, but I think it's just like Dan and I talked about. You have to "get" a person, have a feel for what they are thinking, in order to connect with someone. It's just not happening with me and J., or many other people here yet.

Time Management as a Graduate Student

Saturday, October 10, 2009 at 2:11 PM
I think an important skill to have no matter what you are doing is proper time management. I'm struggling with my time management a bit right now. As a first year graduate student, I am supposed to be working half the time, and focusing on classes the other half. In reality, I am doing 80+% of my time on classes. I spend all of Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday working on homework and learning material for classes. Wednesday night is then dedicated to recharging. And that leaves Thursday and Friday when I don't have classes or seminars or whatever to try to do some research. If I have an exam, they are usually on Thursday or Friday. This semester, it looks like my exams are staggered with one another, ie. one exam each week, rather than together. This past week, I spent all of Thursday and Friday on my exam. This all adds up to very little time for me to spend on research.

I'll have to work on being more disciplined in my schedule. I'm also experimenting with going into the office on the weekend to dedicate some time to reading on research related topics. I will monitor this to see how it goes. Hopefully my time management problems are due to adjustment issues here at MIT. I found that another member in my group barely got anything done his first semester here. I think I can get something done this semester, such as at least getting something set up for experiments.

Interesting Night

at 12:20 AM
So. I'll start by describing things that I heard over and over this Friday night, after a stressful week. Then, you'll guess what it was that I was doing.

Quotes:
"I'm gonna BANG you!"

"No you can't, he's too far away. Bang her instead!"

"You can only bang one person at a time"

"Don't make me punch your balls"

"My balls aren't where you think they are"







Interestingly, this was a card game I played with some fellow ME students, called BANG!, a country western card game. You shoot each other by using BANG! cards, and really everyone is just shooting each other all game. Me and Jonathon were the two newbies at this game, so I guess I was the only laughing at everyone saying, "I'm gonna BANG YOU". Over. And over. Oh and there was this one girl who was really butch, threatening to punch people in the face and balls. What a bizarre night in some ways, yet really fun at the same time. I think I was laughing the whole time, which was good after working hard on my homework and studying for my quantum physics exam.

Quantum Test Finished!

Friday, October 9, 2009 at 4:55 PM
I did ok in my quantum test today. It was pretty damn tough though. As I was going through the problems, I felt like I didn't know how to do any of them. I had to really think deeply, and apply the concepts in different ways to get a solution. This was definitely not one of those tests where it's like a cookie cutter: you can not apply a specific method to determine an answer.

I just hope I did as well as everyone else. I heard from someone else today that the professor only gives A-, A, and A+ grades. That would be pretty sweet to get an A+ at MIT huh? Who knew you had a 1/3 chance to do it.

First Exam

Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 10:23 PM
Tomorrow is my first exam at MIT. I'm pretty sure I'm about to be spanked. I'm taking a quantum physics course which is...pretty hard. It's an abstract topic to learn, and to really understand it intuitively takes some time. Until then, I'm just learning formulas and equations and more math than I ever wanted to. I think my preparation has been ok, though another day or so would be optimal. I'm going to turn in now, so that I can rest my brain. Really, if I could just remember everything that I've learned, and be able to use them tomorrow, I'd be ok. It definitely would help me more than studying some more.

Just to give you a taste of what I spend my time trying to understanding. Wave function, dispersion relations, wave packets spreading, operators, Hamiltonians, Hermitian property, Eigenfunction/values, Simple Harmonic Oscillators.

A double post coming up this weekend: (No)Things to do at MIT other than work, and Time Management.

Time to turn in early

Sunday, October 4, 2009 at 6:34 PM
Frustrating night for me. I think I will call in quits early and just get some sleep.

Things on my black list tonight:
Sick
MIT
Homework
Grace
Laundry
Haircut
Food

Coming to MIT: Lesson 2

Friday, October 2, 2009 at 5:00 PM
So, next in my series, I will talk about the pressures of getting started in research as a new graduate student.

When I found out I was going to MIT, my first priority was to find a professor to PAY ME mentor me in my research. That was pretty stressful. Having spent four years being mostly supported by my parents, I was not looking forward to spending the next four in the same way. On top of that, I wasn't entirely sure on what I wanted to do in grad school, which you really need to know when going to grad school.

I scheduled a visit to MIT right after graduation, and luckily, I not only found an advisor, but one who would pay me! I scheduled meetings with professors whom I had contacted several weeks before. For each of these professors, I had a talk with them about what sort of things I was interested in, and then I met with their students to see their labs. That was pretty much everything I wanted, and the I finished the trip feeling fully satisfied and ready to go on my other trip, to China (visiting relatives).

For someone like me, not entirely sure of what they want to do in grad school, trying to find an advisor was pretty tough. Advisors want students who are motivated and passionate at what they do. I must confess I was not what they wanted back in May (am I now?). For me to be passionate about a subject, I have to know a lot about it. I really need a comprehensive understanding of something, to be passionate about it. Unfortunately, I hadn't been that exposed to research topics up until I was applying to graduate school. Luckily, as I pushed myself to get into grad school, I read more and more about research topics, and my interest grew. I would say that my entire application process, up until finding an advisor, was about preparing me for school.

My latest time of pressure occurred when I just arrived at MIT. I was nervous, thinking that I wouldn't make it past the first semester, and also, I wasn't sure what specifically I should be working on in the group. Unlike the other new people, I didn't have a specific project, and I felt like I was the only one spinning my wheels and getting no where.

Luckily, Grace said something that made me feel a lot better. She told me to take my time, and to really find out what I wanted to do. I was supposed to be doing things because I wanted to do them, not because I was supposed to do them.

Lessons learned: Mainly, do things because you want to in grad school. However, you do need to put in some effort early on, to learn about research topics and to see if you are interested in them.

It'll Come Back to Bite You In The Ass

Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 11:46 PM
So I just threw in the towel on doing my quantum physics homework. Seriously right? Quantum Physics? I'm a mechanical engineer. I last took an introduction to quantum physics in my junior year, as a requirement for my materials science degree (dual major). Man was that class tough. Towards the end, I was just struggling to finish it up so that I could leave it in the past and forget about it. Hell no I was not gonna remember anything from that class. Hell yes I was glad to be done and over with it.

And now it's back.

I didn't finish this week's homework, due in a few hours, which I'll attribute to not starting it until the day before it was due. BAD IDEA. To be fair, I was busy over the weekend (visited my cousin in Hartford), so I didn't get to start my two homeworks until Monday. I did manage to finish the first homework, at least.

Lesson learned: I HAVE to start quantum physics on the weekend, and it would be even better if I could read a bit towards the end of the week. I'll start tomorrow.

Coming to MIT: Lesson 1

Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 8:23 PM
So I just got on the bus back to Boston from Hartford, after visiting my cousin for the weekend. I had a pretty fun time there, and got to see Dan too. I met a bunch of engineers working at UTC too.

I’m going to take this time to try right a bit about my experience at MIT. I learned a lot since arriving here, and have been meaning to record it, but never had the will or time to do it. I’ll start with my initial feelings about when I just arrived.

To many, MIT is the ivory tower of academic learning. In my mind, it was the most revered and prestigious school of learning, as far as science and technology goes. Obviously, we all learn as we grow up that the school you go to isn’t the only important thing. I remember in highschool, as one by one we all got rejected from incredibly prestigious Ivy schools like Yale or Harvard (guess some of did get into that one), we started saying, “hey, what do rankings mean anyway right?” Well it’s true that rankings don’t tell the whole story, and for four years while I went to University of Michigan, that was my belief. That perspective changed as soon as I got into MIT.

After getting in, there was the predictable feeling of euphoria and achievement, but it was a few months after (June or July of this summer, ’09), that my original impression of MIT from above hit met. It went something like this:
Holy shit…what did I get myself in to…

I had a big case of the panic attack. I just completely got caught up with the MIT stereotypes, and thought I was completely out of my league. Maybe people will find out that I actually don’t belong there. After all, admissions departments make mistakes. In addition, I had gotten in only after being rejected, because I was offered a fellowship (S.M.A.R.T. Fellowship by the Department of Defense). For almost three months, there was a gnawing worry in the back of my mind about how I would deal with MIT.

This didn’t really change after I arrived on campus. For the first week, I had to go through orientation session after session, in which the speakers intoned that we didn’t have to worry about not fitting in, or not making it here. They kept telling us how great we were, and we would go on to do great things at MIT. This did not help at all, as I continued to think it was the other people who were the great ones. I certainly was not one of them.
Eventually, this feeling of inadequacy passed. I do not feel like I’m any better than I was before. It’s just that, the other people seemed less overwhelming. More normal, albeit with a geeky streak. In particular, two things helped me to change this. One, my classes were hard, but I found that other people were struggling just as much as me, or even more in some cases. Two, another person in my group (lab group), was feeling much more depressed than I was. Thomas, a new international student, had and still has a sense of disorientation. He seems like a bright guy, but just found everything really intense, and was struggling to keep his spirits up. For me, I realized that even if smart people can feel this daunted, then perhaps we are all just experiencing the same challenges.

The moral of the story: MIT is not really the ivory tower I once thought of it as. It is a challenging school, but as a famous professor here said, “Getting an education from MIT is like trying to take a drink from a fire hydrtant.” Everyone here feels just as overwhelmed as I do. And it’s ok.

Funny things my MIT Professor does..

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 8:46 AM
Prof. Hagelstein does Darth Vader: *Whooooo-shhhhhhhhhhhh.....Whoooo-shhhhhhhhhhhh.....Whoooo-shhhhhhhhhhhh*, *I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR LACK OF PHYSICAL INTUITION*
(In this quote, he asks us for our intuition as to what will happen to a wave packet with a parabolic dispersion relation. Apparently, the appropriate response would be to say, "the packet will spread over time".)

Clarice the TA: "The professor says that doing integrals by hand builds character"
(However, even she professes to use Mathematica to solve big integrals.)

More later.

Quantum Homework

Monday, September 14, 2009 at 11:11 PM
Sometime soon, I need to make these posts more substantial. I've just been a little busy with classes and homework. Tonight, I spent about 3 hours stumped on this quantum physics (6.728) homework. Thankfully, I started getting it towards the end. Also, I switched to EM (6.630), which was a lot easier, so I can end tonight on a more positive note. Will be working on this tomorrow again.

Fire Alarm

Saturday, September 12, 2009 at 10:53 AM
Just had a fire alarm. I'm sitting here in my pajamas, thinking "uh oh, what to bring." Good thing it was all resolved rather quickly. I think someone was probably cooking, and set off an alarm. We were all back in less than half an hour.

Also, I climbed 16 flights of stairs. Good work out.

Edit: Turns out that later that day, we had another fire alarm. This time I think it was a faulty system error.

!!!!!

Edit 2: This morning (Monday), I get an email from the hall director. Tang Hall is undergoing fire drills this week, and we should be ready.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reflecting on First Few Days as a Grad Student

Tuesday, September 1, 2009 at 9:24 PM
I will start this now, and probably finish the rest tomorrow, since it is late.

Screw it. Time for bed.

Edit 1: Boston water tastes pretty damn good. At least, the MIT tap water in building 35 does. More later.

Leaving for MIT

Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 9:50 PM
Just cried my eyes out when Grace was leaving. I haven't done that in a long time. I'll write more when I get to Boston.

EDIT 1:
So I am now in MIT. I'm quite busy trying to settle in, but I'm going to try to update on what happened the past few days. Grace and I had a long talk about our future, and we poured our hearts out talking about how we felt. She's still not completely sure if she's ready for the next step in our relationship, but I think she's getting closer. We shall see how that goes. We both cried a lot because we were going to be separate for longer than ever before.

EDIT 2:
I am now officially at MIT, as in my RA has started. I was freaked out last weekend, before starting orientation at MIT. I have it in my mind that MIT is this ivory tower with super duper geniuses, and that I was gonna get run over by their brain power. I guess I'm a little less freaked out now. The people here seem pretty normal, albeit a little geeky. The same thing happened to me when I started at Michigan. I remember the first few engineering classes, I was just in awe at how smart some of the people were. In the end, everything turned out ok for me. I suppose the same thing will happen here (hopefully).

Though I'm less scared now of failing out, a new problem has come up: I have no project. That means that I have nothing to work on all day, except to talk to people in my group and find out what they are doing. It doesn't help that people keep asking me what project I am working on. I feel like I have to give an answer. I tried talking to a few people today, and they were nice about it, and took time to explain to me what they did. However, I feel if I keep asking people to take time to explain to me what they do, some of them might get irritated. I will try to see if I can catch people doing experiments, and maybe I will be interrupting less.

So these are my immediate thoughts on school and being apart from Grace. I'll post an analysis later.

Listening to Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money. This song is sweet.

-Howitzer

Grace is Home Now!

Saturday, August 8, 2009 at 9:57 PM
Hurrah!

4 Shots Today

Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at 5:17 PM
I got four vaccines today: Hepatitis A, Meningitis, Mumps/Measles/Rubella, and Tetanus. I'm overdue for three of those shots, so I'll consider myself lucky that I'm not dead at this point. Especially since, as George points out, I go to China pretty often. I only found out I needed all these shots because of some vaccination forms I needed to fill out to go to school in Massachusetts. Imagine, I show up at the clinic to have them fill out these forms for me, only to find out that I'm horribly under protected against dangerous diseases(haha).

My arms hurt like a bitch.

Also, Grace back in 3 days!

Braces Off Continued

Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 5:42 PM
So, I got my braces off on Monday. Feels strange, just like it did last time. I have the feeling of my lips rubbing against my teeth all the time now, as opposed to being help away by the wires. It's really weird. It will go away soon enough though. My teeth also look fine. I'm not so much excited as relieved. Now I can feel free to ignore my teeth, instead of being bothered when my tongue catches on some crook in my teeth.

I got some retainers that I'll have to be wearing for the next six months. The purpose of these is to keep my teeth set the way they are, until the bone density around my teeth increases back to its normal density. Then, my teeth will be less prone to shifting again. I looked it up, and I got the Hawley retainers. These feel kind of bulky actually, and make it feel weird to talk. I will give it a week, and if they still feel weird, I may ask for the VFR (vacuum filled retainers). These are the retainers that look basically like a clear mold around your teeth. My current ones have a wire that wraps around my bite, with a plastic piece flush against the roof of my mouth.

It's too bad I only got to see my second orthodontist a few times. She was really nice, and we got along well. The first orthodontist was fine, we just never really clicked as well. By the way, these are all student orthodontists, who are maybe 5 years older than me.

Former Presidents Paid by US Government

at 7:26 AM
So, every former president is still on the US payroll. Not sure how I feel about this, but here is the wording of the Former Presidents Act:

"(a) Each former President shall be entitled for the remainder of his life to receive from the United States a monetary allowance at a rate per annum, payable monthly by the Secretary of the Treasury, which is equal to the annual rate of basic pay, as in effect from time to time, of the head of an executive department, as defined in section 101 of title 5, United States Code [section 101 of Title 5]. However, such allowance shall not be paid for any period during which such former President holds an appointive or elective office or position in or under the Federal Government or the government of the District of Columbia to which is attached a rate of pay other than a nominal rate."

On the one hand, presidents should be thanked for their service. Being president is probably the hardest job in our country, and it's nice that they're taken care of by the citizens after serving. On the other hand, it's not like they're going to need the money. Heck most of them start off rich enough. They are probably earning around $100k to $200k, considering how much a current president is earning.

Braces Off.

Monday, August 3, 2009 at 9:15 PM
Got my braces off today. Will add more later.

Ford GT

Sunday, August 2, 2009 at 11:08 PM

The Ford GT. I guess I'll continue to post pictures of sweet looking cars. Apparently, the original version, Ford GT40 beat the Ferrari in some race four years in a row (24 Hours of Le Mans). It also gets 3.5 seconds from 0-60mph. Sick. I guess I might take the Ford GT over a Camaro or a Mustang. But then, it also costs 5x as much.

Here's one more picture.



2009 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500

at 7:55 AM






















Here's another car to view. The sculpted hood gives a classic American muscle look. The Ford Mustang has more of a brawny look, whereas the Camaro has a bit more of an aggressive look. The Mustang is still pretty sweet though.

2010 Camaro

Saturday, August 1, 2009 at 8:20 PM


SEXY.

That's what this car screams to me. The curves, the "mean eye" lights, the muscled hood...This thing is just damn aggressive. God I want one.

Transformers 2

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 6:31 PM
So I saw Transformers 2: The Revenge of the Fallen yesterday. I must say that the movie was an awesome sequel to the first one. In some ways, it was better. See, when I watched the first Transformers movie, I was just happy to watch a Camaro changing into a robot, in CG. That was like the coolest thing EVER. I had so many memories of playing with Transformers when I was little, and now it's been modernized to be even more awesome than I remembered. That was the thrill of watching the first movie. In the second movie, they added more and better robot fight scenes. There was this one scene where Optimus takes out two power swords, and battles three Decepticons. EPIC FIGHT!!!!!!!! I didn't really care about the story line as much as I enjoyed watching CG robot fights. (You can tell I really like Transformers.)

One thing I realized from watching the Transformers movies: the military probably had a lot of say in the movie, as to how the US military was going to be portrayed. I almost feel like the movie was doing a bit of advertising for the military. The first movie had a lot of US Air Force clips included, and it wasn't just the publicly obvious ones. A lot of behind the scenes action, such as the command centers, and the call-ins for airstrikes was shown. In the sequel, the military clips expanded to the US Army and US Navy. I feel like the military was really trying to show us what their jobs are like, and how cool it was.

-Howitzer

Waxing the Sky

Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 8:07 PM
So, sitting at home, I get the idea that I would wash and wax the Saturn Sky. I had time to kill, and the car needed a wash. As I'm looking up information online, I find that there is a whole community of guys that really take care of their cars. I mean, they go through multiple steps of detailing to make sure that their cars' paint jobs are of showroom quality. I continue reading. Two days later, one clay detailing kit, one car wax kit, 8 microfiber towels...and more later, I am finally ready to start. Oh and I also managed to get my little brother to help me too. This is gonna be great!



+5 hours later....



Holy shit that took a long time to finish. But the car is gorgeous right now. The paint feels smoother than glass. Ice is probably closer. In the end, we put a lot of work into the car, but the reward was definitely worth it. I can't wait to go driving in the thing now. In fact, I think I'll go feel the car again.

-Howitzer

Build A Computer

Monday, July 13, 2009 at 7:17 PM
So I finally delivered the computer that I built for Grace's parents...and I'm really regretting doing it for them. It's not that it took a lot of time or cost me anything. It's just that..I'm afraid the computer will fail in some unforeseen way, and then Grace's parents will think that they made a bad decision in asking me to build their computer. See, the computer worked fine for a week while I used it. But what if a random hard drive error occurs? Well then it would be "my fault". In an OEM computer, the customer can go back to the OEM company and ask for repairs/fixes. However, if a home built computer breaks, then it's up to the builder to fix it. Which would be me.

It's not that I'm unwilling to fix the computer. It's that I'll be in Boston (759 miles away). Thankfully, I just checked Dell's website, and their computers come with a limited warantee for only one year. And really, what are the chances that my home built computer will fail in one year? *knock on wood*

Grace: Your parent's computer will be fine. I'm just being extra careful here.

In other news:
Selling my portable amp to finance my desktop amp.
Did a good deed today.
Braces off in three weeks.

-Howitzer

One More Thing...

Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 10:09 PM
Sleeping early is really hard for me. I've been sleeping past 2am the past few days, and I haven't been getting good rest as a result. I suppose I should be sleeping instead of posting. I will deliberate on the reason for my night owl habits more.

-Howitzer

It's Great To Be A Wolverine...

at 9:46 PM
I went to the CSE building tonight on North Campus to watch a movie with George. We ended up wasting about an hour before finally starting the movie around 10pm. I think George usually sleeps around that time.

Anyways, the point is that Michigan is really nice. As in, it has much better facilities than MIT. Those CAEN labs that everyone bitches about? They are super nice. All the software that you would ever need, software that would cost thousands otherwise, right at your fingertips. Not to mention near-unlimited printing, and the ability to hold group meetings with each person having their own computer. Oh and those 24" monitors that are starting to appear? Wow. At MIT, the most I saw was maybe 10 computers at their biggest library. They looked like the computers we would have at the Ann Arbor public library.

To be fair, I was only at MIT for three days. But don't let that statement fool you. Michigan is an awesome place. Great education, ridiculous people, and awesome facilities.

-Howitzer

Mangos

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at 9:05 PM
An introduction, since this is my first entry. Howitzer has been my game ID since I first touched a computer game. It's been with me ever since.

I really like mangos, to the point that I'm almost ready to say they're my favorite fruit. I'm not particularly into fruits, but if there's one fruit that I would crown my favorite, it'd be the mango. How much do I like mangos? I saw a box of them down in the basement, starting to get overripe and wrinkly, and I felt bad for them. I had been shepherding this group of mangos for the past few days, bringing up the ripe ones to the kitchen in hopes that someone else in my family would see it and eat it. Alas, I'm pretty sure I've been the only one eating them.

I had to do something drastic to save these mangos; I brought the entire box upstairs. We shall see if they are noticed tomorrow. In the meantime, I will do my part by devouring 1 (2 maybe?) of the group.

-Howitzer

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