Feeling Down

Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 4:59 PM
I'm in a very emotionally depressed period of my life right now. My interests at school have become near-absent, and my out of school life here has been non-existant. My personal life elsewhere is also..eh..a struggle. I would like at least one portion of my life to be care-free.

I wonder, if any other first-year grad students go through moments like these? They must. I talked with a best friend recently, and he said his first few years in undergrad were similar. No real friends, no interest in school. He felt like there was nothing worth living for in Ann Arbor, at least in the moment. Things changed for him, when he met a friend. This was a special friend, someone who connected with him on a deep down level. At last, there was something outside of school to enjoy, someone to experience life with. He called meeting his first friend at school, a "godsend".

Everyone is afraid of being lonely, even the so-called "loners". How do I know this? Have you ever seen a "loner" who was cheerful? Maybe content at best. But cheerful, happy, joyful? Yeah, didn't think so. No one wants to go through life alone.

The most precious thing in life is a friend that life can be shared with. I suppose that's why so many people had imaginary friends when they were young. Someone to always be with you, to feel good for you, to comfort you, to protect you. As adults, our minds are more perceptive of reality, and so we turn to finding some person who can fill this role.

Most of succeed, though some of us fail. If you're one of the lucky ones, take a moment to reflect on how fortunate you've been. It's easy to forget what you have when it's with you all the time. I know I've been guilty of this in the past. Consider the less fortunate ones. I'll always remember the story of a 40 year old divorced motivational speaker who cheated on his wife. He now remembers everyday what it was like to come home to his wife and kids, and how he lives by himself in an apartment now, giving motivational speeches against cheating.

This post is dedicated to my special partner. You know who you are.

-Howitzer

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