Can't shake this weird feeling...

Monday, February 22, 2010 at 9:50 PM
I have a job interview tomorrow morning, my first in over a year. There's no way I'm taking the job, if I get it. I guess I'm just doing it for the experience, and because I have nothing else to do. Taking this interview is the smart thing to do, a "just in case" for the future. Yet, I find myself strangely uncaring, and detached from everything.

I've thought about all the things I've done in college, in internships, in grad school. I'm proud of my accomplishments, and I really feel I could impress the recruiters tomorrow....if only I cared. Here lies the core of how I feel. I feel strangely detached from everything in my life at this moment. Perhaps because I have no direction at the moment?

All of a sudden, I feel sad. Strange...even this sadness feels numb to me. I was talking with a friend earlier tonight, and I realized that we are both finding our post-graduation experiences to be more eye-opening than our college experiences. For me, I broke out of the mindset of school -> graduate school -> job. With all newfound freedom, such as this break I'm taking, there also comes a requisite loss of stability, of safety. For me, I've lost an ideal life path to cling to. I suppose that's why I'm sad.

Where does the future take me? MIT? An industry job? Homelessness?

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