It's curious why these thoughts never occurred to me during undergrad. It's possible that I had a preconceived notion of how I should live my life at that time. Also, I had a stable and constant girlfriend, so that no matter how my friends changed, I always had a best friend with me. I also went to school in my hometown, so I was surrounded by familiarity. While this certainly shows that I am currently grasping for stability and familiarity, I clearly remember not needing these things even just a few months ago. In fact, for most of my life, I remember not needing anchors to hold me steady.
Perhaps something about me changed after decided to leave MIT. The fact that I'm looking for stability suggests that I have some fear of the unknown right now. This is really not helpful to me; I'll need to think about this some more.
-Howitzer
0 comments